Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
