I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
