She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
