New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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