I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
