there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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