singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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