haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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