sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
