so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
