So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize