i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
