its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Randomize