would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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