As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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