Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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