I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
