After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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