Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I would fuck him just for his dog
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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