i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
