we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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