I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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