dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
