Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
