You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize