He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
