3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He better not be in your backpack
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I think pants incapable of making pants work
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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