And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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