I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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