Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
