thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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