google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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