The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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