Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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