Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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