Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
