So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
