I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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