if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
