the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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