her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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