member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
