I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
should my penis look like a turkey
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
you never un-have a 4some
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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