I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
