She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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