i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
