my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
