My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
