me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize