I like my sex mixed with concussions.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize