bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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