Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
