so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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