Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
