she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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