I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
she peed on how many people?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
