He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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