God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
