i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
