yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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