kristin has been a bad kristin
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
