I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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