I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
my shit smells like andre
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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