i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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